Leaving a crying baby

One of the hardest thing to deal with emotionally as a new parent is leaving your newborn and hearing her cries.

4 min read

One of the hardest thing to deal with emotionally as a new parent is leaving your newborn and hearing her cries. It can be heart wrenching for you, but rest assured, it’s completely normal for her to cry a little when you step away. Trying to understand why she is crying might make it a bit easier for you.

For the first three months, your baby is unable to notice if you’ve stepped away. Yes, she can recognize you, but if you’re not there, she doesn’t think about you. That’s because at that age, she only knows what is going on as it’s going on. She doesn’t know what happen or what will happen. There are certain times of the day however, mostly towards the end of the day, when she will most likely be going through a crying session. Try not to leave her during that time until she is a bit older.

Once she’s four months old, and until the 8th month or so, separation should not be a problem, as long as she is with someone she is familiar with and who can take care of her needs. If she is crying, it’s probably because she can tell that you’re anxious about leaving her. It’s normal to feel sad about separating from your newborn, but she’s more likely to be relaxed about it if you are as well. That fact alone should make it easier for you to leave.

At 8 months though, things start changing. Your baby will start realizing when you leave her. She’ll become more clingy and more easily upset when you’re not around, especially if she’s tired. This is when she starts to experience separation anxiety, the stage where she realizes that you might not come back. It’s a scary time for her, but it’s also completely normal.

There are different ways to deal with separation anxiety:

Spend time with her and whoever will be taking care of her, at the same time. This lets your child know that you trust the new person, making it easier for her to feel comfortable.
Go away for short amounts of time. These brief separations will help her realize that people leave, but that they do come back.
Play Peekaboo with her. This fun activity can help her understand the concept of disappearance and reappearance.
Say goodbye. By always telling her goodbye before you leave, she won’t be surprised to discover that you’re not around.

Overall, you don’t need to worry if your baby cries when you leave. You only need to be concerned if the crying last for a long time after you leave or if it’s causing you a lot of distress. If that’s the case, you should contact your doctor and discuss it with her.